27 May 2005

Wearing the Inferiority Complex on the Sleeve.

Although I don't know heaps of people who don't live here who also haven't ever lived here, it seems I'm spend a lot of time explaining this place to others who ask. I even spend time explaining this place to people who have lived here but don't anymore. During these explanations, I always wind up trying to explain the ginormous inferiority complex this region carries around. In reality, this land is still overrun with Ah, Shucks folk and You Betcha types who don't know how to be cool in public. Our civic condition is recognizable in three forms:

First, we'll bend over quite far if it'll make us a friend. After about 20 years of the NFL in the perfectly-good outdoors, we hastily slapped together the Hubie Humparena, because, you know, all the cool kids in Florida and California will never let us have one of those neat-o Super Bowl things without a Tupperware-like facility.

Second, we worship at the feet of anyone now famous who even spent ten minutes here. The hallmark of all notable Minnesota natives is that once they are able, they get out and do not come back, unless it's to tuck one's tail after failure on the world's stage.

The third arm of this mutant state-of-being is that we are helpless in the face of those who would heap adualtion on us, for whatever fraudulent reason. The summit of this ailment is the statue of Mary Tyler Moore, a fictitions person, who starred in a crummy show that, in its six seasons, never shot a scene in this town other than the patronizing opening credit sequence. We'd follow Mary off the cliff, see; never mind the fact she was make believe.

When they put up the staute, which is really an advertisement for a cable TV station, it was a pretty embarrassing blight on Minneapolis' most prominant downtown pedestrian promonade, but then, the (then) mayor chimed in, which just confused us for the target of our shame:
There are some who are pretty proud of that, including the mayor, Sharon Sayles Belton."There are quite a few women out there who watched the Mary Tyler Moore show and thought her character helped to affirm the fact that women can be in major leadership roles, and can break through that glass ceiling," says Sayles Belton.
Yea, see, Mary was the worker bee. She never got promoted once on the show, but Sharon, you go, girl.

Anyway, this whole tirade came up because Eddie Albert died today. He was another one of those famous people who spent about 10 minutes in Minnesota, and I'm sure his passing will be hold-the-presses news. No ill will toward Albert; 99 is a good run, but I've got other lives to study first, if you please.

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